The Bright Side's Dark Side

2009-09-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

Not being appreciated, again.

Birthday went by and all I got was half hearted wishes.
He said he isn't good with presents. He said he doesn't know what to buy me, which is stupid because I've told him thousands of times. He doesn't care.
It seems that he does not love me, but he hasn't realised yet. I hope he doesn't for a little longer because I'm crazy about him.
Oh, he makes love to me, and he never refuses a favour but he is so absend minded, so somewhere else...maybe there is already someone else. I don't know...
I wish somebody loved me.
Not like the silly goodfornothings who want to fuck but really love me, really find me amazing and irreplaceable.
I think maybe there is someone...my old crush. Maybe I think I saw a glimpse of a twinkle in his eye.
The truth is I've been thinking about trying...

Who cares about moms

2009-07-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

Nobody cares about mothers. Nobody gives them a second thought. Mommies are taken for granted, they are supposed to be simple-minded, naive creatures, whose only concern in life is what to cook today.

Mothers are not entitled to romance.
Mothers do not get tired.
Mothers do not need space or other interests.
Mothers have to be patient with everyone but nobody is patient with mothers.
Mothers have to help everyone, but nobody helps mothers.
Mothers are responsible for everything but get as much respect as a slave.
Mothers are expected to bear everything, silently, never complain.

At least good mothers. Because if she wants to pursue one of the above, there is simply no time left for her to deal with the family. A full time job? No , this is worse, because even in your sleep you worry, even in your darkest hour your heart is really with them. More than overtime, mothering is so life consuming that , if abandoned, the non-mother is left empty, inside out, useless and pointlessly free without anything to care for.

Man, help your woman. Take her by the hand, kiss her like she has never been touched, whisper, make her feel like she is special and unique. Give her what she wants, not objects bought with money, but read her mind, find what she is yearning for and just give it to her. If you don't, her loneliness will poison all the world and she won't even realize what she is doing to herself and to everyone else.

Him, The month of May

2009-07-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

Like the month of May, he is warm and sweet, smelling of promices and life's juices. Unlike the other summer months, he is not aggressively hot, forcing the love out of me, but gentle and pleasant, leading me by the hand into his fragrant love.

Introduction

2009-06-05T04:35:00.000-07:00

The truth is I am a curious person. I have no friends and feel frustrated about it. Nobody calls me on the phone, including my family, nobody knows where my heart is and nobody actually cares what I do. At my mid thirties, with a family that I can barely support, a job with almost no prospects, minimal help and having given up almost all of the things I used to enjoy, there's constant anger concealed under an energetic self. All of the injustices I have to put up with, all the patience I need to go through one single day, all the suppressed force that some day will be let loose, all the ideas that steamcook in my head, are powered by great, unbelievably horrible, anger. Even when I'm happy, I still feel the anger ready to jump at my own throat. Sometimes, when I look at myself in the mirror I see a monster, though most find me handsome. Always suspicious, always disillusioned, sometimes with my pink glasses on but more often in the darkest of moods, I feel like the trip through life holds no good surprises. A complete misfit trying to act normal, not always succeeding but doing my best day after day after day not to let anyone know that I am actually crazy, or at least feel that way. I could go on for ever but there is no point; everyone gets the point I suppose.